Please Vote "The PMS Party"

  It is getting close to that most wonderful time of the year, or sometimes every second year.  Who are we kidding, with our government you could wake up one day and find out the poles are open and you have 8 hours to vote, only to find out six months later you get to do it again. 


  Now this is my take on politics, federal politics, and it is only one man's opinion with very little truth, not unlike actual politics.  To set the record I am not an expert on politics, in fact I can say that I don't really follow the candidates that closely.  I do know that there are four, maybe five, tomorrow could be six, people running and they all belong to gangs, sorry party's.  See, I am confused already.  A party to me brings to mind friends, family, fun times, a few beverages, snacks, talk of great things to come and awesome memories of past events.  If you look at these parties there is no fun, in fact you could say that the verbal backing of their leader is a crock as choosing the leader involves verbal outbursts and accusations at fellow party members.  I am hopeful that there is lots of beverages, maybe even some smoke, as this would explain a lot, but not my kind of party, unless of course the beer and food are free.  As for how many party's there are, well that depends on the day and who can afford to print signs with their name on them.  I am thinking of creating a party and calling it "PMS Party".  Our campaign will be that once a month we will take a big piece of every Canadians sanity and for the rest of the month we will treat everyone like family, pretending that nothing happened.

  Today at my house we had our own campaign debate and it was very eye opening on how close it compared with a real televised debate.  It all started with our family meeting and going around the room asking each person about their day.  Mutt started it off saying he didn't like it when Jeff hit him, or when Jeff flicked his hat off his head, or when Frick wouldn't let him play with her.  His best part was mommy coming home.  Jeff followed up by accusing Mutt of elbowing him and pushing him.  He also got upset because he was not allowed to play outside, in fact it was his worst day ever.  Frack voiced his pleasure at not getting in trouble at school even though his actions were wrong and he was punished at home the day before.  He could not recall what everyone else had said before him and he to was happy mommy was home because she had not seen what he did earlier in the day.  As for Frick, she ran out of the room when it appeared that she was not getting a turn to talk.  After being brought back in and given the spotlight she informed us that no one would play with her and that Frack tried to get her in trouble by rolling her dolly down the stairs, which she did willingly.  She was also happy mommy was home, although wanted dad to take her to bed.  So as you can see we heard all about what each kid did to the other as well as their woes, but we never did hear what they did to help out around the house or how helpful they were to each other.  As it stands I would vote for mommy even if she wasn't on the ballet.

  Maybe that's it.  Just like Brewster's Millions with Richard Pryor, we could create our own box at the bottom of the ballot and vote for "The Other Guy".  After all, Stevie has not done enough to impress me.  Micky has the Spockien eyebrow, but reminds me more of a Klingon, scary.  Gillie is like the person nobody likes but knows that hanging around maybe he can join forces with another loser and together they might have some say.  As for Jacky, well he needs to get off the train wreck, NDP Express, and knock off Stevie or Micky as head of their gangs.  He is liked the most, but like Gilligan he has all the right intentions, but will never get off the island.

  Hey, what do I know about running a country, other then you need lots of money and there are millions of Canadians that will hand it over, especially if you don't give them a choice.  For once, just tell me what you will do for us and don't mention the other players.  I challenge you.  If you can't then I am voting for "mommy" as my substitute choice.