Our Week Away, Part 4, Jacks Departure

  As Jack's final day began everyone wondered if he would be granted one more night for good behaviour, although little did they know the decision was out of our hands and Jack had to go home.  Home, a place where Jack could sleep in his own bed again, read his books, and play his own games without three boys fighting for his, and anyone that would listens, attention.  What was he going to do knowing that he would be separated from his young female friend, who had proclaimed him her boyfriend?
  The boyfriend story is something I will take up with Jack myself when the time is necessary, in the meantime Thing4 can be smitten with him all she wants as she changes her mind every ten minutes.  As for the final day, it was spent swimming in the lake, again, as well as learning more about Zebra Mussells.  Jack pulled a piece of a tire out of the lake, that was filled with these nasty creatures, allowing the kids to examine them and see how they can be harmful if stepped on or grabbed by accident.  This did not stop Jack and Thing4 from digging out a large piece of drift wood that had become imbedded in the mud.  Was this their first date? 
  To dry off Thing1 challenged Jack to a game of Bocce Ball in the sun, which to date we are not certain who won as the story changes depending on who is telling it.  It was very apparent that the Italian in them, if any, was hidden very deep, so deep that it did not show based on their skill, but they appeared to have fun.  The remaining hours were quiet as the kids played quietly by themselves allowing everyone wind down time.
  In Jacks final moments he wandered the cottage taking photo's of his favourite things, as well as photo's of all the Things.  As he entered the transporter room, to be beamed back to his own bedroom, there was a little sadness in everyones face, and then poof he was off, with his self proclaimed girlfriend asking when he could come back.  For the remainder of the evening all Things sat quietly watching a movie and then off to bed they went, ending another great day.

Our Week Away Part 3, Lightning Strikes

  It was a hot day spent down by the water, swimming in the lake and eating hamburgers.  Unlike our first full day, the sun was shining, the air was warm, where else would you want to be but by a lake.  Jack surprised us all by swimming to the island while being followed closely by Thing3 in a kayak, along with mom.  Thing3 attempted the ride back, but felt more comfortable holding on to the kayak, providing an excellent workout for mom, needed or not.  As for Jack, he is in training for the lake Ontario swim.
  Back on shore, or near the shore, the non-gilled people were having their own fun soaking in the rays or splashing in the shallows and making rock formations.  Unfortunately all swimmers had to be on the look out for the not so elusive Zebra Mussels as they were waiting, patiently, to strike at any moment.  By the time everyone had departed the waters there were three casualties with cuts to their feet, which may have been from rocks but Zebra Mussells sounds more dramatic.  In fact it was said that a giant Muskie was spotted eyeing up small children just down the lake.
  Our evening was spent making fire and eating smores, with a little movie time thrown in to wind down the evening.  With Jack suffering the affects of a rare lake water disease, he had a rash, his night ended early as he feel asleep on the couch.  The Things would have stayed up until midnight given the chance, but the evil overlord, dad, stepped in and said "to bed all, I need time with your mom".  At that I carried Jack to bed, which was not an easy task as he is heavier than he looked, and proceeded to tuck in Thing1 at the same time.  The others were tucked in, now allowing alone time for the grownups.  Alone time ended, never really began, with each of us tucked in with a Thing, on different levels of the cottage, which is kind of how alone time goes at the cottage with kids.
  The next day, today (Wednesday), showed promise with an all day breakfast, for lunch.  Everyone excited by breaking the norm and walking on the wild side, who new it would be topped by a visit to the local zoo where train rides toured the wild, make believe, jungles of Africa.  There was of course the giant slide that was fun for all ages, including myself, and the water park, providing 30 minutes of fun times.  After a much anticipated stop at Walmart, where we aided in the rescue of a little girl separated from her Grandmother, we headed back to the cottage, just in time to beat the storm.  It was expected to be a big one, somewhere, and we wanted to be prepared.  A game of Sorry, teeth brushed and everyone tucked in and we were prepared, prepared to open the bar for a light cocktail.  With said cocktail in hand we, my wife and I, sat in the study overlooking the lake and watched the lightning strike.  There is nothing quite like a thunderstorm with lots of lightning.  With that said we expect the storms to pass bringing sunshine and smiles to the day ahead.

Our Week Away, Part 2, Jacks All Wet

  Waking up in the morning allows everyone to get a fresh start and find their happy place to move forward.  Or, it provides opportunity to carry on from the night before and accomplish the things that were not done prior to bed.  Either way it makes for an interesting day ahead, filled with joy, laughter, heartache, headache, and a little disappointment for some.
  While Jack was eating his breakfast he informed me that he read in the morning because he was awake prior to everyone else.  Now seriously, read, what kid reads in the morning and allows everyone else to sleep?  Based on my kids if you wake up first you either turn on the television, pull out your handheld game, or wake up the parents for breakfast.  I must admit my kids are not bad in the morning, with the exception of Thing4 who gets right in your face and asks when she can have breakfast, no matter the time.  Reading a book has yet to cross their minds, although it is only Thing1 that can read so I should cut them some slack.
  Following breakfast and some play time in the basement we ventured down to the lake where all the kids were looking forward to a little swim.  I will admit up front that I am a swimming pool person and always have been, I don't go in the lake, never have, and do not have the urge to start now.  I'm sure there is a name for it, other then chicken of course.  My kids impressed me recently when all four of them swam in the lake with their life jackets and never once complained about the weeds or the feel of the bottom.  My wife and I couldn't be prouder of them for what they were accomplishing and looked forward to getting back and seeing them swim in the lake again.  Well, thankfully Thing3 did not disappoint as he joined Jack in the water and together they swam all around, coming out, drying off and going back in again for more.  The other three joined me in holding down the patio furniture and watching the tandem swim together.
  After a Timmies lunch and a somewhat quick stop at the grocery store, which was interesting to say the least, we headed back so that I could teach all five kids a lesson in nerf gun battles.  Wow, was I wrong.  They proceeded to take out their frustrations on me, landing almost every shot on some part of my body.  When Jack missed me one time I heard him complain about his aimer, site on the gun, being off.  I think, if allowed, they may have gone for the camouflage look just to get a little closer to me.  I did manage a couple hits myself, but was eventually ruled the loser.
  We finished a gourmet dinner, hotdogs, a visit to the spa, okay it was just a shower, dished out strawberries and popcorn and visited the theatre for a little mid evening movie.  I thought about Home Alone, but these kids need no ideas, so we settled on Dr. Doolittle.  At the end of the movie all kids ventured off to bed, with each of them sleeping in their own bed, with two being in the basement, and three upstairs.  I only hope I don't have kids calling on me from multiple levels, although I feel this will be another good nights sleep in preparation for another chance at a good day in the sunshine.  Fingers crossed, I am off to toast a successful bedtime. 

Our Week Away, Part 1

     We arrived.  It was expected to be an incredible week, but one never can tell how events will turn out. After getting the kids out of the car, after two and a half hours, and allowing them to relieve themselves I promptly took to arranging sleeping quarters for everyone.  This should be an easy task, given that we were limiting ourselves to two rooms four beds, although I did not take into consideration that Thing1 would only sleep with Thing3, but Thing3 only wanted to sleep with Thing4 and Thing2 wanted to sleep with no one.  Our guest, who will be referred to as Jack, is a friend of Thing1 and he was happy to sleep anywhere as long as it was on his own, and rightfully so.  After all my kids don't sleep straight, they use the whole bed not caring who gets in their way in the night.
  While trying to figure out sleeping arrangements and making beds I decided to send the kids to explore the cottage and show Jack around, buying me plenty of time to finish.  After completing the beds and preparing a late night meal I went in search of the kids, following the voices.  With all the places to explore and see, all the kids had chosen one room and then pulled every toy out and played with it, or at least moved it around a little.  Thing4 was mad because nobody would share, Thing3 was mad because nobody would let him play with them and the other two Things were mad at Thing3 for being a bully.  Jack in the meantime did not appear mad, upset, concerned, distraught or anything else.  In fact I think he was a little amused at what was happening around him.  The stories he will have to tell when he gets home.
  So with hands washed, butts in seats, I presented them with their late night meal, which took me four and a half minutes to prepare thanks to a food fairy that left it for us, chicken and noodles.  "I don't like this chicken" was the first response from Thing4, followed by "whats for dessert" by the same person.  I would have had greater success if I had just given in and gave them all the treats left by the food fairy, although that would have meant another two hours of running around, and it was already 9:30.
  After playing for fifteen minutes we all sat down for a little calm down time before going to bed.  There is nothing like Franklin the Turtle to help soothe the wild beast, unless of course the networks have redone the animation of the show and the kids don't like it, then you have a whole new controversy to deal with.  We agreed the new Franklin is not very good, or as they wanted to say, but didn't, "it sucks", and then headed off to bed.  After everyone was tucked in I agreed to read the first chapter of a new mystery book, that takes place in Disney World, as long as everyone was quiet.  The two oldest boys were asleep before I finished, with other two not far behind.  Of course there always has to be one person that rocks the boat and this time it was the only girl in the cottage, Thing4.  She said she was not tired, until I lied her in my bed where she promptly fell asleep.
  So here I sit, with everyone asleep, debating what I should do.  A good movie, a cold beer, a light workout in the fitness room, write a short blog to allow the parents of our guest to know what has transpired in day one, or go to bed.  I have finished the blog, it's too late to workout, the beer is still cold and I think my wife packed some snacks, so I guess I know where I am off to.  Goodnight all, tomorrow is a full day and expected to rain.

Nothing Like a Princess

  What exactly is a princess and what does she represent?  And why do the poor guys get left playing second fiddle, if they're lucky.  After our family's time at Disney World and encounters with many princesses I think I now get it. 

The guy is just window dressing for the princess, which I guess mirror`s real life.  After all, any time a woman has introduced the guy they are with it is usually, "this is my husband/boyfriend", with no name mentioned.  Okay so it doesn't happen all the time, but that would ruin my point, so get over it ladies.
  My wife and daughter made it their mission to have my daughter photographed with all of the princesses at Disney, so I got to meet them as well.  And yes, I was all for it for the simple reason that my daughter had a look of joy on her face when standing with any princess.  Even the boys enjoyed it, although they wouldn't admit it.  For me it was meeting Belle, (who by the way was very attractive and my standards are high, right dear), I was sold on the princess being the focal point.  They don't hug like Pooh Bear or Mickey, but they have a whiter smile and bigger (I know what your thinking, but that would be wrong and besides kids may be reading this) gowns to wear.

  They are perfection in every way, even the way they speak.  Now, don't get me wrong none have had to go through child birth, raising kids, being puked on, yelled at, attended a PTA meeting where everyone bitches about something, and finally, they all have a prince for a boyfriend, not a prick for a husband.  Let's see them after all this happens. 

  In the meantime I am okay with my daughter and sons having a Princess as their role model and only hope they never discover the truth.  I hope my daughter meets someone that treats her like the princess she is and that the boys find a princess to spend their eternity with.  No different then my marriage to my wife.  Let's see if that gets my name in the credits.  If not I am going back to Belle.  

  And by the way, I will try not to include anymore Disney in my future blogs, I don't want to spoil any surprises for anyone, 

being that "It's a Small World After All".  Sorry couldn't resist. 

Home Sweet Home, Whatever!

  Is it true that most people feel they need a vacation after their own vacation ends?  We have been home for 2 weeks from our Disney vacation and I don't feel I need another vacation, although if you would like to take the kids for a weekend it would be appreciated. 
  After two weeks of fun in the sun, and a little rain, we finally returned home to enjoy the balance of the summer in our own back yard.  It appears the kids would like anything but, and have not hesitated in letting us know, in many ways.  There have been arguments, physical fighting, yelling at each other and meanness from all four of them.  "You are a meanie" has been one of my favorites, followed by "NO" to almost every question.  This was expected after being away for two weeks, yet it still didn't make it any easier for my wife and I.  Our best response has been, "do you want to be spanked?", like we could ever spank our kids.  Oh yeah, except for thing2, he has a target on his butt that is just waiting.  We did create some new rules, stay tuned.
  By the way, I am now referring to my kids as thing1 for the oldest, all the way to thing4 for my daughter.  The way they have behaved I would say this is a fair representation.  Not to mention our Disney experience and the t-shirts we purchased for them.  Speaking of Disney, it is these memories that have helped us make it through the days.  Mickey making the water dance at Fantasmic, or Belle winking at me (don't listen to anyone, she winked at me and if she didn't, I winked at her), or the fireworks over the castle, it was all amazing to see.  So amazing that the kids, along with mom, have started a Disney fund for next year.  We have yet to tell them that the fund is actually meant to pay off this years visit. 
  All in all the getaway was incredible, and yes, my wife and I would now like our own little getaway from the kids.  If it can't happen we understand, but don't be surprised if my wife or I appear on a milk carton reading,
"Missing, father of four, last seen trying to hit on Princess Rapunzel.  Anyone knowing his whereabouts keep it to yourself for 48 hours as he will be back when he realizes he is no prince."   Or,

She had attitude, just like the women in my life.

"Missing, mother of four, thought to of run off in search of Jack Sparrow.  If spotted please let her know he is not real and has less money than her husband."
  Can't wait until next vacation.


My halloween costume this year, just for my wife.



Counting Down The Days

  We have had a blast and just when you think it is time to leave and go home to the real world, an extra couple days get added to the vacation, for a small fee.  Tomorrow was our flight home, although we have had so much fun and still feel we need a couple days to wind down around the pool that we are staying.  I could get used to this.
  How do you see as much as possible in Disney when you expect to be going home?  Take the kids out at 11:00 and keep them out til midnight, then get them up at 7:30 the next morning and have them in bed by 1:00am the next morning.  They were awesome right up until the tram ride (this takes us back to our car), when they all fell asleep.  How do you carry four kids from a tram to the car?  You don't of course, you wake three up knowing they will all fall right back to sleep.  The kids slept until 10am this morning with one waking up at 11:45.  I think we will just sit around the pool all day today.
  Hollywood Studios was amazing and all four kids found something they loved.  The boys became Jedi's and fought Darth Vader, the real Darth Vader, and our daughter liked Woody and Buzz, Beauty & the Beast, Little Mermaid and just about everything the boys liked.  Mutt, Jeff and I did the Tower of Terror, which will never happen again, and One loved it, one hated it, and one was happy to be alive at the end.  The Fantasmic show at the end of the night was incredible, worth the wait, after all they had beer, popcorn and cold water.
  We went to Magic Kingdom for our last night there and witnessed a spectacular show on the castle, and amazing fireworks.  We tried our best to ride a few more of the attractions before leaving and all the kids got to pick their favorite ride.  There is nothing quite like Magic Kingdom at night, with all the lights and the castle lit up, awesome.
  We now have three sleeps to go and one more day at the parks.  Tomorrow, Thursday, we will visit Epcot and Magic Kingdom and follow that with a visit to the beach on Friday.  I would like to say I look forward to coming home, although the truth is that I would love another week to do nothing but swim with the kids.  See you all soon.  
  Pictures to follow.

Smiling Faces, Happy Faces

Pirates of the Caribbean Ride

  What do Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Pluto and Goofy have in common?  Two things actually.  One they put incredible smiles on our kids faces, along with all the other Disney characters.  Secondly, they are money sucking parasites that never stop bleeding the parents dry of every last penny.  In fact, after we run out of pennies we are going to sell the kids to Disney.  If they won't pay we may leave them there just to teach them what us parents go through to see a smile on their faces. 

  The fact is that we are having a blast and I would say that day 1 was our best day, until day 2 happened and it was even better.  We had breakfast with four princesses, making my daughter one of the happiest little girls around.  We just came home from day 3 and I would have to say it was pretty good as well, considering we had lunch with Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, and Piglet.  My kids love these characters and had a great time hugging them and participating in a mini parade with them.  My one son looked in the window and spotted his favorite, Pooh, and didn't think we were going to get in, causing a major meltdown that was very sad to see.  His mood changed quickly when the girl at the counter was from Whitby and managed to find space for us.  Gotta love Canadians.

  We are hoping to get back tonight to see the fireworks, although the storms moved in and do not look like they will move on tonight.  No matter, we will have a good night and prepare for another busy, action packed day.  This place is better than I could have imagined and I am thankful that we made the decision to visit. 

  With almost a week to go, and two more days with friends, we expect to continue with our good times.  The kids are tired every day, but once home and in the pool everyone seems to liven up.  The pool has been awesome as all of the kids now put their heads under water, something they never did before. 

  I know this was not your typical blog, but I want to share our good times with family and the best way to do so is through my blogs.  I love to share stories and this one is quite possibly the greatest story to date to share with friends and family.  Thank you Disney for the smiles on our kids faces.  Without you I would have had to spend $20 on a new movie to receive a smile.  I wouldn't change a thing.

King Size,Built for a Princess

Here I lay upon the couch, booted from my bed

A bed that was built to sleep a king, now sleeps a little princess instead

She awoke without knowing, kicking and a screaming

Although we tried and tried to soothe her, it was only that she was dreaming

After a boot to the belly and one to the ribs, I left my bed to her

She will wake me in the morning, quite rested that's for sure

I will smile and get up, pretending not to have missed a thing

As tomorrow night you can be certain, I will once again sleep like a king


  Our second night in Florida and our daughter has been up sleepwalking, as well as restless dreaming.  We brought her to our bed. which has paid off for her and left me here typing when I should be sleeping.  In the morning we are headed for Disney for our very first time and I am uncertain who is excited, besides my daughter, as the boys were happy watching the Grinch movie, even though it's July. 
  The pool has been a huge hit after one day and we are looking to spend as much time as possible swimming.  A couple of falls under the water, with mom or dad right there, has taught the kids the importance of taking care around the water, not that I expect this memory to remain tomorrow when we swim once again.  It's funny how they can scream and cry when they fall under, but laugh and cheer loudly when they go under themselves, on purpose.
  I am going to attempt to sleep upon my king size couch.  If I am grouchy in the morning I will be certain Sleeping Beauty is made aware of my concerns, in hopes she corrects the situation for my next nights sleep.  We can all have hopes, no matter how fleeting they may be.  I would sleep in her bed, but I think my feet touch the floor.  No matter, good night all, I must be rested to save the castle from the evil pirates and rescue the fair maiden.  Or I could sacrifice the castle and maiden and sleep in, tough decision.

To Pack or Not To Pack?

  So you are going on a trip and everything is booked and ready, except your luggage.  What do you do?  Do you start packing well in advance so that there are no worries leading up to the day.  Or do you wait until the day you leave to throw a bunch of things together and hope it all matches once you get there?

Now what am I missing?



  If it is the middle of winter and you are headed for a tropical hot spot then go ahead and pack.  After all, you won't be wearing those shorts or t-shirts any time soon.  But what if you are headed to somewhere warm and you are living somewhere warm, oh what to do.  If I pack to early I won't get to wear my favorite shorts and tank top (wife beater is another name for top, although I don't know why.  I wear it and my wife beats me down, should be called a, in my wife's words "you look like an idiot top").  The problem is if I don't pack now I may spill grape juice on my beige shorts with the eight pockets, (no wonder we don't need fanny packs) and that will never come out.  Either way there are serious risks to be taken and no right answer.  You probably fall under one of three categories, which are the following;

1. Pack, packers, & re packers -these are the people that pack their bags well in advance, sometimes weeks, and yet they go back through the bags two, three sometimes four times before the departure date arrives.  In fact this person will ultimate pack more then needed and probably forget something.  These people have tendencies to be very organized and want everything planned to the minute, or they could be My Parents.  Either way they are shocked when people put off packing.

My wife's under garment bag



2. What, we leave tomorrow packers -these are the people that know they have a trip coming up, but are so focused on their day to day lives that packing is left until the end.  They wait til the end so that they can wear their favorite clothing throughout the week and still take it with them.  They wait until the end because they know if they started early they would keep packing every day and that would not be okay with their spouse, primarily the husband.  They also wait because they know what is going and this is second nature for them, plus they could have four kids that keep them busy enough.  These people are generally very intelligent, good looking and calm and cool no matter the situation.   

3. Pack, forget about it, buy new once there -these are the people that have money, or don't have the money, but lack a number of brain cells.  These people don't even make their own booking because they probably already own the place they are going to.  In fact many of these people end up at nude beaches because they forgot or lost their wallet and can't buy clothing.  I pity the ones on the Alaskan cruise.  These people are the ones that are always in fashion, but have forgotten their wallets when the tab is due at the bar.  These are the people we all strive to be one day.

  My wife and I fall into #2 category, although we would like to move up to #3 as it would be so much easier.  I would even consider the nude beach, if I can get over my fear of taking my clothes off in public.  I am working on it, but the bus driver didn't appreciate me offering my shorts as payment the other day.  In fairness, I did pay $25 for them and the bus fair was only $1.50.  My wife would be good at #3 as well, but she would be off shopping the whole time and I would not see her until it was time to come back home.  That would leave me with the clothes I arrived in and a new outfit to go home in.  You can see why the nude beach sounds better all the time.  Don't worry I will send pictures.  Anyway it is time for me to go work on my full body tan since you want pictures. 

  Oh, one last thing.  People that pack early, unpack quickly.  People that wait to pack, wait to unpack, sometimes days.  People in #3 get home and can't remember what they were wearing because the expensive champagne still hasn't worn off.  Happy packing to all those going on trips this summer.

My Birthday

  The other night we watched the fireworks celebrating Canada Day, although I always thought they were for my birthday, only a day late.  As a kid having my birthday the day before Canada's was the coolest thing.  As an adult, late teens, I realized just how cool it was as my birthday celebration was extended an extra day and I got fireworks to finish things off.
  On Thursday we celebrated my birthday in fine form as I was allowed to lie with my daughter at 2am until she fell asleep, and upon return to my bed I discovered my oldest boy spread out in my spot on the bed.  This left one option, the couch.  From there I was woke up by four kids giving me hugs and kisses and birthday wishes.  After completing my birthday chores, (dishes, laundry, cutting the grass, trimming the trees and feeding the kids), I finally sat in the backyard with a birthday beverage, water, only to be bombarded by the rest of the family.  In fairness, they did come bearing gifts.  I loved my gifts, at least the ones I kept, and the day was great, even though any day with family is great. 

  ¨Happy birthday to you, would you like a cold brew, happy birthday dear dad, there`s many more for you¨.  Now this is a birthday song that could sound good no matter who is singing.  After all a birthday celebrates getting older and yet there comes a time when we don`t want to celebrate getting older.  I tried, ¨Happy birthday to you, you`re held together with glue, happy birthday dear ______, I`ve got some duct tape for you¨.  This didn`t go over so well, although there are days where it fits how I feel.

  I am happy to celebrate my birthday because my kids enjoy the celebration, but in truth it is their birthdays that matter to me.  It is also their birthdays that I measure my years by, so why keep track of my own.  No matter, I will continue to celebrate my 39 birthday until I have to move to my 49 birthday, which is years away no matter what my wife says.  And speaking of my wife, thanks for the special night, movie, drinks and your snoring on the couch.  It was almost a perfect night, if I had been able to sleep as well.

Look Out Mickey, Here We Come

  Planning a vacation should be fun, somewhat easy, very little stress, and have had some thought put into it.  If that's what you think then you need to spend some time around our family, as we do not do anything the easy or normal way.
  It all started about mid May when we knew that we would have a couple weeks together as a family.  In the beginning we thought two weeks at home doing day trips with the kids would be great, although that was a fleeting thought as we really wanted to get away to a cottage on the beach somewhere, anywhere.  Of course renting anything in cottage country on a late decision is not easy as these places get rented out months, sometimes a year in advance.  So now what?  How about a week away for just mom and dad?  Now this has got me excited.  The idea of my wife and I away for 5-7 days on our own, no kids, no worries this has not happened since our honeymoon, 13 years ago.  This could have been a great vacation, if it had come to fruition.  At this time I have become so stressed about finding something, anything that the idea of not going somewhere may cause me to snap.

  So how about Florida with the kids and maybe even a trip to Disney World?  We would have to be crazy to think that we could control four kids in Disney when we struggle to do it in our own home.  Then again, since when did we do the smart, practical thing.  We are the family that flies by the seat of our pants, if we're wearing any (that would be the kids), and makes decisions based on what we need at that moment.  And we need a vacation.  Besides, we duct tape the kids to the rental strollers and don't tell them about rides and we will be just fine.
  When planning a vacation did you know that if you plan to go to the US it is a good idea to have your passports up to date?  And did you know that if you are sending your wife at 6:30 am to the passport office, you should make certain everything is in order and nothing forgotten.  My suggestion is that if you forget something do not admit to it.  Say "I double checked everything, it was all there, you must have lost it."  Or you can be a dumb ass like me and just admit your error and then sulk all day.  No matter, passports are ordered and we leave in one week.  One week and I will be sitting by a pool with a cold drink in hand that I may even drink before having to get snacks for the kids.

Mom's Hair

    So, you are born into a family where your dad has no hair, or at least not much to speak of, and your grandpa has even less.  What do you do?  Well, if you are my boys you hope that you get mom's hair as she has enough to go around.

Frick, with what looks like dreadlocks, but he's no Bob Marley.

Jeff, Beatles gone wild! Maybe Ringo after being on the road without a haircut?



Mutt, looking like a rockstar from the 80's, maybe Richie Sambora.

  These pictures are a little old, but I could not let them go when I came across them.  We had a lot of fun this day and there is a photo of me with mom's hair somewhere, but I could not find it, honestly.  I'm happy with the head of hair I have and I think it is preferred over the spikes I used to have, when I had hair. 
  Mom doesn't like her picture being shown so this may be the most you ever see of her on one of my blogs.  At least you can see she has great hair and three incredible boys.  Rock on boys and please don't let your hair grow this long.

Social Media Newbie

  Social media is incredible.  It brings together people from around the world, allowing us to voice our opinions, comments, questions or whatever we can think of.  All we need to do is get a following, which is not all that easy, but once we have it our voice can be reverberated throughout the world. 
  At the start of the year I had an old cell phone and zero social media experience.  In fact I made fun of everyone with their Blackberry phones, Facebook accounts and so on.  And than my wife suggested writing a blog, in place of a journal for my kids, to tell stories about every day events in our lives.  In the beginning I resisted this suggestion from my wife, which did not surprise her, but after much thought and many days forgetting to write in my journals I gave in and started my blog.  Who knew she would be right, again.  Once I had started the blog my wife offered up a couple more great ideas, Twitter and Facebook, as these would allow me to share my blog with family and friends.  So in a matter of two weeks I went from social media critic to social media newbie.  Here I am 4 months after getting involved in all of this and last week I was tweeting with people from all over the U.S., pretty cool stuff, and my blog is read overseas, really cool stuff.


Seriously, when do I sleep?

  One problem, I could be on my computer, phone or Ipad 24-7 and still feel like I am missing out on something.  And when I go a week without doing a blog I feel like I am letting other people down, like there is this cult following that is wandering aimlessly until I complete my next blog, lead by my mother in law.  This was meant to be a way to write down my thoughts and share them with whoever wanted to listen and now it feels like a job.  Mind you it's a a job that actually excites me, creating a desire to do more with it and get more people involved.  A job that if utilized correctly could one day bring back greater rewards then just the joy of writing.

  With four kids, a wife with a successful career, and a house that needs some sort of maintaining, I can't find the time I need to take this to the next level.  I tried leaving dry cereal out for the kids, along with crackers for lunch, so that I could work uninterrupted, but they keep asking for more food.  For showers, I turned on the sprinkler out back and let them run through, but that was too cold for them back in March.  Recently, with all the rain we have had I just send them out back in their rubber boots, but they still complain.  Next week I am increasing their household chores leaving me the time to follow my addiction, I mean passion. 

  As I try to find balance between Twitter, Facebook, and my blog, not to mention my website that I am currently working on, (oh and the house and kids, can't forget them, god knows I have tried, only once or twice), I want to get back to why I started this in the first place, money, sorry, family.  My tweets, which I don't show to just anyone, will be about my life and the events surrounding it.  My blog will be the same and if I have nothing to say for a little while then I will let my wife chime in, after all, she always has something, wonderful, to say.  As for Facebook, I will use it to let people know about my blog and anything else I feel important.  I will leave the quirky quotes to my brother in law as he is very witty, and has the book.  My website, if it ever takes off will be the place to visit in the future as it will have everything on display.  Well, maybe not everything, as I need some secrets for myself.  As for social media, I am enjoying it, having trouble keeping up, but will continue forward and learn it's benefits.  Finally, I would like to thank my wife for all her support such as "are you going to be on that computer all night?" or "should I make you and your computer a bed to sleep together in?"  Truthfully, she has been great, after all it's her fault I am doing all of this.  Love you sweetie.  She's going to hate me.

"Let's Get Ready To Rumble"

  What do you do when you realize that John Cena and The Rock, wrestlers, have come home with you from school.  Personally I would set up a ring and let them beat the snot out of each other in hopes that there would never be a rematch.  Unfortunately, we have two other kids that are still the same people we met in the morning and I don't want them thinking this is okay.  So I must change my tactics and find a better resolution.


  How about a ring with both wearing big helmets and boxing gloves or maybe those big Sumo wrestling outfits, and than let them go at it.  I could see my daughter wanting in on this and ultimately all four of them, which I think would be great to video and use as a wordless blog for another day, stay tuned, you never know.  My wife on the other hand believes that there is a better way to handle it and maybe they just need a new referee.  Huh, who is she kidding, I have approached this from all angles and currently I feel like the ref in the WWE that gets his butt kick by the wrestlers.  Either that or I feel guilty for taking away one of their favorite things.   Tonight I spoke to all kids about best behaviour, listening, chores, and blah, blah, blah.  At least I think that's what they heard.  Best behaviour with four under 7 is;

no fighting (yeah right), no hitting (good luck), no screaming (there's four, who am I kidding), no biting (still happens with daughter), listen when spoken to (not just looking at person speaking) and if we are really lucky, manners used at all times (no exceptions).  We get a pretty good outcome from the last one, still working on the rest.

  Someone told me that they are just kids and kids do crazy things, that's how they learn.  Clearly these people don't have four kids that are doing all of these things at the same time.  Now don't get me wrong, I love my kids to pieces and I am as much the problem as the solution.  For example, throwing my sons cereal in the sink from 10' away, milk and all, because he complained that he wanted to pour the milk and started crying.  Probably not my best moment as a dad, after all I had to clean it up and he still ended up with cereal.  I can just see him at school, "my dad is not the brightest, he threw my cereal and made a mess, but still gave me a new bowl and had to clean up the mess.  I am going to try this with dinner tonight and video it".  Or the time I put one of the kids in the shower clothes and all.  After all the tears, my son asked if he could wear the same shirt the next day now that it was clean.  I am still learning what works with them, but more importantly I am still learning what works for me.  Maybe I should put the Sumo suit on and let them beat on me for a bit, except that they would poke a hole in the suit so that I felt the pain.  Oh well, the beat goes on and tomorrow is a new day, and no it's not "the first day of the rest of my life", but it might be my last if they ever learn to gang up on me.

  Dad's can do it too, it just may take us more time to figure out what works best, but that is what makes everyday exciting.    

Happy Birthday Grammie

  Oh no, here we go again.  It`s almost time to go visit Grammie, my mother in law, and I have to go.  The kids are thrilled and my wife, of course, is always excited to spend time with her mom.  For me, well it brings to mind a recent joke I heard.  Two guys talking at the bar and one says "my mother in law is such an angel" and the other guy responds with "you are so lucky, mine is still alive".

  When I married my wife, we had already been dating for a few years so I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into with her family and her mom in particular.  At least I thought I knew until the day I heard her curse, "oh shoot" was what she said.  All of a sudden this sweet, church going woman showed me a side that shocked me, and I kinda liked it.  Who knew that a young 60 year old woman with four grown kids, 10 grandkids, 1 great granddaughter, and one new son in law could be so versatile.  One day talking about the Catholic religion, the next, sending me a joke about Walmart shoppers.  To think this was going to be my future kids grammie and I had yet to see any candies or cookies sitting around her house.

  Here we are, almost 13 years later, the day of her birthday and my four kids think the world of her.  I would say the same about the relationship between the two of us, although there is still the time that she hemmed some pants for me and left a pin in the crotch.  This was discovered while talking with a customer, which you can imagine the rest.  She has warmed up to me over the years and there have been no more pins, but there was still the wasp nest in the canopy that she asked me to put up for her.  Did she know it was there?  Truthfully, I would do anything for my mother in law, after all, I have to live with her daughter and the alternative is sleepless nights on the couch.
  My kids have a special relationship with Grammie that we have yet to figure out.  It`s not very often you walk into a room and see your 73 year old mother in law sitting on the floor playing dolls with your kids, even when you know she will pay for it later.  Or how about the sleepovers at Grammies where the kids get to stay up late, eat what they like and watch whatever is on the television.  All of this and once again someone has to pay later, which of course would be us, the parents.  I guess this is the role of a grandparent and my mother in law plays it to perfection.  

 I have heard it said that when a guy dates a girl he should take a look at her mother as that will be her one day.  Well, I took a look, but I was to young for her, so I settled for her daughter and have been married now for more then twelve years, so if what they say is true then I am one lucky man.  As for my kids, their grammie will say she is the lucky one, although I disagree and years from now the kids will feel the same.  She is a special lady in our life and we would all like to say we love you and wish her a Happy Birthday.   

First Communion "Dads Perspective"

  First communion, what does this really mean to those of us that are ignorant of the Catholic traditions, but would greatly like to understand them?  Well I did some extensive research and found out the whole meaning behind all of this.  Sit back and read (the italics are research) and you to will be better off.  "Most Catholic children receive their First Communion when they're seven or eight years of age because this is considered the age of reason."  Okay so I am not quite clear yet, as I don't know for certain the Catholic church understands reason, when it comes to kids, but let us move forward as we get closer to understanding.

Stud!

  So my son asked me "what does all of this mean, dad?"  Not being Catholic, my wife and her family are so I must be careful here, I replied "It means that you have received the Sacrament of the Eucharist, the body and blood of Jesus Christ."  Quickly my son said "but what is the Eucharist, dad?"  Being a proud parent that believes in god I was quick to respond "The elements of bread and wine, along with the intimate communications between believers and God, form the basis of the Eucharist ceremony."  At this point he said "so what exactly does all of that mean?"  Once again I was ready for his next question and I quickly responded, "go ask Grammie, she wrote the book."  Now if Grammie is reading this you know I am kidding, we all know you could not have written the book because you were to busy teaching the school children at the time.

Couple of studs!

   Now leading up to all of this these 7 year olds had to visit with the priest to make their first confessions.  What is a first confession for a 7 year old?   "At confession, the child will detail sins and misdeeds to a priest and receive a penance in exchange."  What kinds of sins could a 7 year old have?  " I wiped my booger on my brothers pants when he wasn't looking." Or "I put my dirty underwear back in my drawer because they were my Spiderman ones and I wanted to wear them again."  They are 7 years old, this is what they do.  As far as I know my son has yet to break any commandments, especially this one, “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.”  I do know he would like our neighbours PlayStation game set, so this could be bordering.
  I have digressed, at the expense of my mother in law who I love and adore very much, and my rant on confession, so let me get back to First Communion.  We, the parents, spent a small fortune on new clothes for our kids and we, my wife, were so excited about this day and the meaning it would hold for our oldest boy for the rest of his life.  I had visions of him up front with all the other kids, saying their prayers, singing along with some of the hymns, and most of all enjoying the experience.  Instead he had to sit with us and his three siblings, the whole time wondering when it was over so he could visit with his friends that were there.  He had to listen to a sermon, that went on far to long for a 7 year old, let alone sixty 7 year olds, and he was preached to about being left alone, desolate, and eventually dead.  Personally, I was lost 60 seconds into the sermon, and the word death is all that stuck with me.  And to think I thought this was a day of celebration and excepting Jesus Christ into your life.
  Okay so I am not Catholic, but what does that matter?  I believe in God and I am happy to raise my children as Catholics, but I do have a couple questions.  First, is there not a set format for First Communion throughout the Catholic Church, or at least a guideline that lays out how to relate to kids?  Secondly, is it common for a priest to say, "hello, I'm still here" because no one is listening as 60 kids are making there way back to their seats, along with the moms and dads that took pictures, and it is a little loud in the church.  If I am 7 years old, and my wife often says I act it, and you want me involved then get my attention, break the mold and liven it up.  Play some current sounding music, keep sermons short and interesting, not about dying or end of the world.  Get the kids involved somehow, and have them sitting together instead of scattered throughout the church with their parents and siblings, which is not very exciting to them.  Have a priest that can relate to the kids, and if he cannot relate then pass on whatever readings you can to those that can.

What a good looking group!

  Sorry I rant, but this was a big day for our family, and many others, and yet the service was forgettable, but the time at home with family was, thankfully, very memorable, thanks to my wife's hard work and my ability to stay out of the way.  For the worlds largest organization/religion my expectations were much higher and it is not the first time I have been let down.  In saying that I have seen some incredible priests that truly understood how important it was to engage the people, of all ages, and the benefits from doing so.  My belief is still here, which truly does not require a church for it to be strong, and I will instill strong beliefs in my kids, with the help of our family.  Congratulations to my son for a big day, you looked awesome and we were all very proud of you.

A Shower a Day, Maybe!

  When you have four kids it can be tough to keep up on your own personal hygiene.  After all, there is breakfast to get for everyone, get them ready for school, get myself dressed to actually take them to school and hope I don`t bump into any other parents as I forgot to brush my teeth.  I have dishes from the previous night to put away, clean up the dishes from breakfast, sweep up the Corn Flakes that were spilled on the floor, maybe laundry (that reminds me, I have a load in right now), and who knows what else all before 9:30am.

  My oldest is in grade 2 so he is gone every day.  My twins are in SK and are only in school Tuesday and Thursday`s with the occasional Friday thrown in.  Even with them home I need them ready as I cannot leave them alone while I take my oldest to school, which I don`t agree with as I rarely know where or what they are doing anyway.  Kidding, I know what they are doing and would never leave them, intentionally.  So, it is now 11:00 and I would like to get a shower, brush my teeth and put fresh clothes on as I am probably still wearing the t-shirt that I slept in.  To make this work I put a movie on that the kids picked and away I go. 



Dad put it here yesterday

  Do you ever get that feeling that something is going on and it is probably not good?  It seems that every time I get in the shower I end up hearing footsteps running up the stairs (my shower is in the basement) and into the kitchen.  As I lean out the shower and shout for everyone to sit and watch the movie I can only hope no one gets hurt.  Soon after, my daughter walks into the washroom and says "we were watching the movie dad", which I ask "who was upstairs?"  "no one" she says.  Needless to say, I did not shower the next day for fear of what would happen.

  Two days later I turned on the shower and hesitated before getting in, which was smart on my part as once again the footsteps took off up the stairs.  When I stepped out of the washroom, with my towel on, my son Mutt looked up, said hi, and carried on watching the movie.  As I quietly walked up the stairs I could hear a chair being dragged across the floor and someone climbing on.  "They are up there" is the last thing I hear as I peer around the corner to find Frick, my daughter, standing on a chair reaching for the squishy candies (fruit gummies) that were placed out of reach, or so I thought.  As I make myself seen my son, Frack, takes off through the dining room and around the corner, like I had yet to notice him.  After helping my daughter down and explaining the dangers of climbing I give her a squishy candy, after all she is 3 and has not listened to a word I just said.  I now search out Frack and question him about his motives.  "It was her idea" as he blames the 3 year old, which could actually be true, but unlikely.



See there it is, quick he's coming

  I did manage to get my shower completed, although every day is a crap shoot as to who will sit still and who will sneak off to look for adventure.  To date nobody has been hurt, I don't smell like Oscar from Sesame Street and I have actually managed to shave once or twice, a month.  With my kids I have two that just want to have fun and two that seek adventure, the type of adventure that they know they're not supposed to seek, but it's worth the risk.  Personal hygiene or the house being ransacked, it's a flip of the coin.

Chasing Butterflies

  How many of you have kids playing sports or kids involved in extra curricular activities?  How many years have they been involved and are they good at what they do?  Do you make the time to get out to all their games and/or performances?  They say kids thrive on impressing their parents, although I believe they thrive on being the first to spot an airplane flying over head or a four leaf clover on the field, at least until a certain age.
  I have one son, my oldest Jeff, playing ball hockey. One of my twins, Frack, playing t-ball and the other two, daughter Frick and twin Mutt, involved in a musical performance class along with Frack.  I do what I can to make it to all their events, knowing that it will not always be possible to see all of them all of the time.  What I do take in is the moments that only kids can bring to us.  For example, "how was music class everyone?" responded with "Dad, you didn't pack enough snacks for us" followed by an angry 3 year old giving me the stink eye and her brothers saying they didn't have fun.  That was 10 weeks ago and they have not complained since.  Of course I pack more snacks now.
  My oldest played ice hockey and now plays ball hockey and his biggest thing is "did you know -insert name of friend- plays on the other team?"  After discussing his role in the game he is spotted, the very next shift, chatting with his friend, oblivious to the ball in his feet.  And, after getting a goal he does not share excitement over scoring, but excitement over who the goalie was.  It's like Gretzky or Crosby scoring a Stanley Cup winning goal and telling TSN "Did you know the goalie was my old buddie, Billy, wow he played great."  There really is no care in the game at this age, with most kids, just pure fun in being with friends and playing.  I think I could learn a little from my kids.


I got it!

  My twin boy, Frack, just started playing t-ball and his greatest joy during his first game was throwing stones and teasing a girl standing on second base.  A girl and second base never happened to me until well into my teens and he is only 5 years old.  Once again something to learn from my kids.  The game itself is only fun if you are allowed to have your own kind of fun along the way.  For some that means discipline and routine, and for others that means chasing butterflies or talking to friends during the game.  No matter what your kids enjoy doing during their sports/activities leave them to their own personal enjoyments and let the coaches/teachers try to guide them.  The alternative is that they are at home picking on their siblings or driving you, the parent, crazy and I know, personally, butterflies can handle my kids better then I can most days.

  If I have a future star in my family he/she will have great stories to tell the tabloids about the road to their success and if they are not stars they will at least have great memories.  As for me, the parent, I prefer to come home from every game/event with a child that takes pride in discussing the bird flying inside the hockey arena even though he lost 5-1.  Or a daughter that says "I had no fun because I didn't get goldfish for a snack" and yet is heard singing a new song later in the day.

  I try to make as many events as possible for these moments as well as the moments when they actually realize what they are doing and have accomplished.  Cheering for a first goal or getting a tear when three of my kids perform on stage, these are all great moments and almost compare to the day a frog hopped on the soccer field.  Take pride no matter, as tomorrow your child grows up and the frog and the butterfly become distractions instead of wonder. 

One For The Dads

  Dad's can do it too, with a little help sometimes.  I changed my blog link today to reflect the title of the blog and in the process lost my followers information.  For those of you that were following me I apologize and hopefully you make your way back to my new address.  I look forward to new followers joining in and sharing your feedback.

  So we can't do everything, or at least everything right.  Yet if you think about it dad's have been playing this game for years.  Shrink your wife's favorite top and you're off laundry duty, or break one of Grammies dishes and you're done that as well.  These things don't just happen, dad's, or men in general, have planned these things out from the beginning.  For whatever reason I was just the opposite as I was the one criticizing people, my mom and eventually my wife, for the way they were doing my laundry and breaking a dish was out of the question.  I would give my mom credit for this as she had me doing laundry and dishes at a young age.  Maybe that's why being a stay at home dad is the best job I have ever had, as I don't mind everything that goes with it.  Okay the screaming kids, the constant cleanup of toys, and maybe even the cleaning of the floors every day, sometimes twice, could be improved, but I'm working on them.  Ultimately, these are the things that keep me on my toes and much preferred over dealing with previous bosses I have had.

  I know that mom is usually the stay at home parent and failing that a female nanny, usually old and heavy if the wives have there way, although I have come to realize there are a number of stay at home dads out there.  We are actually pretty good at what we do and take pride in completing the housework and love spending time with our kids.  I do my best to have everything complete, most nights, so that my wife can come home and enjoy the kids.  Even so, she still finds time to provide me with the ¨Honey Do¨ list each week, which I have managed to get narrowed down to one main task a week, on top of my regular routine.

  When the day is said and done, I have to say I am pretty good at the laundry, keeping it folded neatly, whites staying white except for that one load, and well organized in the kids room.  I would also say that I keep a somewhat neat house if you ignore the kids toys and crafts that get spread throughout, in a hurry.  My cooking skills improve each week, trying new recipes when possible, and falling back on simple things like chicken nuggets only occasionally.  I look forward to this summer and the tan I will have, I mean the fun I will have with the kids.  More importantly, I look forward to my wife`s vacation time when we can spend the days as a family.  When the day is said and done let it be known that Dad`s Can Do It Too and pretty good if I do say so myself.

The Family Bed

  So I woke up this morning to discover our bed was being occupied by my 7 year old son, along with my wife and myself.  In the past, when we had a king size bed this would only be a concern due to the fact that he likes to sleep in every position possible except head to toe of the bed.  With our queen size bed his presence makes it a little more challenging due simply to the fact he is a giant.  A giant that sprawls out with no regard for who he takes out in the process.
  This got me to thinking about all the times the kids have come into our bed over the years and the joy we have had with these moments.  There was the time when my daughter, Frick, crawled in to bed with us followed by her brother, Frack.  We had our king size bed at this time, but that did not stop both of them from forcing me to the edge of the bed.  Not to mention the elbow to the head and a foot to the "tenders".  There was also the night my oldest, Jeff, came to bed with us and pretty much kicked me out of bed, as he placed both feet upon my back and shoved.  Finally, there is our other son, Mutt, who I have slept with a couple times when away from home.  You see Mutt does not move, in fact he remains so still through the night that I keep waking up to make certain he is still there, and breathing.  Ultimately, I get about the same amount of sleep, none, as I do with the rest of the kids, the only difference is that I can move my neck in the morning and I don't have any bruises.  These are fun times and bring many memories.
  I watch all of these T.V. shows and movies showing the family bed and how happy everyone is when they wake in morning and for once I would like to see reality.  Show me a mom that gets up looking like an extra from Dawn Of The Dead, and show me a dad that does nothing but grunt and mutter for the entire morning and he can't look to his left due to a kink in his neck.  The kids will be no worse for where, in fact they will have slept longer and will be refreshed and ready to take on the world.  That is until the scary looking mom and the grumpy sounding dad bring them back to earth.  This movie could be called "Zombie Parents, Morning of the Undead" and it could be a musical with the kids singing happy songs and the parents chasing them around with oversized pillows trying to stop them and turn them into Zombies.
  I love my kids, and anyone trying to harm them would suffer greatly if I had my way.  I also love my sleep and anyone getting in the way of a good nights sleep must be held accountable for their actions, no matter their age.  Even with a good lawyer they could not get off the charge of assault causing bodily harm and bags under the eyes, although, I would probably drop all charges if someone could get them to start picking up after themselves. 
  Finally, why is it that they love to snuggle in with mom and lie still for most of the night, but as soon as they notice dad in bed it is like an all out assault.  I am certain, in the night, I have heard radio contact between the kids giving coordinates for where I am lying and how best to attack.  No matter, I will go on sleeping on the edge of the cliff, with hopes that I do not fall into the abyss below.  After all, falling is not an option as I wouldn't want to come into contact with the monsters under my bed.
 

Sundae Funday

  When I woke up this morning I knew that my kids were in for a big day and that me, as a parent, may pay the price for their fun.  If you have kids then you know what a day filled with sweet foods and excitement can bring out in them.  The only saving grace is the crash at the end of the day.

  Today we packed up the four kids and headed to Toronto, The Drake Hotel, for a media event being put on by Frigidaire in order to bring awareness to Save the Children ( http://www.savethechildren.ca/ ).  Save the Children is the worlds leading independent organization for children, fighting to make an immediate and lasting impact on the lives of children everywhere.  As a parent, my kids mean everything to me, so standing behind an organization such as this is a no brainer and what Frigidaire has done is make supporting this charity a family event by getting the kids involved.  Not only with today's event, but also online at http://www.sundaefunday.ca where they can build a virtual Sundae, which leads to Frigidaire donating $1 for every Sundae made.

  The event today was titled Sundae Funday, and for good reason, as there was unlimited ice cream and toppings.  Do you know what that can do to a child?  For approximately three hours we had Flash, Superman, Iron Man and Wonder Woman, all playing at top speed.  Just when we thought our superheroes were going to defeat their arch nemesis, the scary Mom and Dad duo, the effects of the sugar wore off and the drive home was quiet and calm.  From what I saw during the event all the kids enjoyed their sundaes, and the rest of the food that was served, as well as the magician that was on hand to entertain.  I did not get his name, although he showed patience with the kids and had them amazed and laughing for the entire event.  Anyone that can keep my kids attention for more than 10 minutes deserves a standing ovation.

  So thank you to Frigidaire for standing behind this charity and putting on a great family event and thank you to The Drake Hotel and their staff for staying on top of everyones needs.  Most importantly, thank you to Save the Children and your efforts worldwide looking out for kids critical needs.

Alone in the Dark

  I love my time when everyone has gone to bed, the house is quiet and I am the only person up.  This is my time to relax and complete any household chores or just sit back and enjoy the game.  Most nights I end up eating something, something that I don't need, but can't resist.  I also end up staying up way later then necessary almost every night.  May explain why I am a grouch in the morning, sometimes.
 Now this is not something I do every night, although I have made a bad habit of it since I started writing these blogs.  After all it is the only time I get to myself and my own thoughts.  Or is it?  In my house I have become familiar with all the noises that the house makes, although I still can't get used to having the spirits of my father in law and brother in law in the house.  I know they are there when I feel the need to run up the stairs, as fast as I can.  This is my father in law trying to tell me he is looking out for his daughter and/or my brother in law, who's spirit is 8 years old, getting back at me on behalf of my kids.  The fact is they are laughing their butts off at me as I reach around the corner to turn on a light before entering a room.


Boo!

  Staying somewhere not as familiar can be very unnerving, especially if you are alone.  I have been scared by my own reflection, many times, as well as shadows that are unfamiliar to me.  If you are in the middle of nowhere and don't know the house or the house is far to big to see all the rooms you can get so scared that your own flatulence can scare you, trust me I know.  On a night when I stayed at the cottage with just the kids I decided to get them in bed by 7:30 (normal bedtime at home) and I would enjoy the night to myself.  So, first thing to remember next time is to take the kids around and lock the doors and turn off unnecessary lights before they go to bed.  Why the kids you ask, well, for two reasons.  First because they are not afraid of anything, yet.  Secondly, I can run faster then them.  One more thing to remember is to make a wise decision on movie choice, Amityville Horror was not a smart decision.  Going to the bathroom scared me as there was bound to be someone looking back at me in the mirror.  Sure enough, there was and he scared the heck out of me, although he was a handsome fella. 

  Now, when scared at night, I will walk around talking to the spirits that are around me in order to help me feel more comfortable.  I ask my grandparents to help me find my way in the dark and I tell my father in law and brother in law to back off as I will get back at them one day.  Apparently, they are not worried because they are here right now (based on the noise I just heard).  Okay guys I hear you, my wife is wonderful and she can sleep in tomorrow.  Does that work for you?

  What are your nights like?  Do you get scared of the dark and everything associated with the dark?  Does your mind play tricks on you just when you think you are comfortable?  No matter, when these moments happen no one needs to know unless you want them to. 

Writing my Wrong

  Have you ever said something or, in my case, written something that was taken the wrong way.  You think you know what your saying and you can hear your own thoughts the way they are meant.  Unfortunately, when someone else hears or reads these words they hear something completely different, which is not always a great thing.  A reference to the fat chick gets read and people think I mean a reference to a woman, when I was actually referring to our trip to the farm.  By the way this didn't really happen, it's just an example, really.
  Whenever I post a blog I put it on my wife's facebook as well as my own and I add little comments to get peoples attention.  I don't always inform my wife of the comments that I place on her facebook, which has led to confusion on her part when responding to feedback comments.  On my Bagpipes and Podatoes blog I placed a comment on my wife's facebook that said "(insert sister in laws name), back off", which led to some questions for my wife about what was wrong between the two of them.  First of all, I apologize for the confusion as the comment was meant to be "(insert sister in laws name),  back off my man".  If you read the blog you would have seen that I complimented my sister in law a couple times, which led to the comment.  Let me spell it out.  I mentioned her legs and her hot little number (a dress), which in my head led to my wife saying "hey, back off my man".  Sorry for any confusion to those that commented.  I am curious, those that asked if there was tension between my wife and her sister, did you read the blog?
  As for anyone else that I have offended over the time I have been writing these blogs I do apologize as it is all meant in fun.  In most cases I have exaggerated the facts or embellished things, including my wife.  After all, she didn't skip away from a "giant" snake leaving her kids behind, she actually skipped away from a small snake, still leaving her kids behind.  As for the young lady that I mentioned in the above blog, regarding 7 years.  I was just teasing, he is probably saving lots of money for a big rock to offer when the time is right.  Either that or he's nuts.  And your mom, she's not crazy, she's a mom and you will find out for yourself one day when you have your own kids that it's not easy, and from what I have been told it never gets easier.  I guess that means I am crazy for the rest of my life, which I can live with.
  And just to set the record straight, I do poke fun at myself and will again soon.  After all, I need to get it out that wearing the apron in the family may be a sexist comment, but it is also very breezy.  Stay tuned for the rest of this story, you may be shocked at what you see.  Oh, and by the way, I am not saying I won't pick on you again some day, but it will be all in fun and I will do my best to allow my sarcasm to shine through.

Our Adopted Child "NotMe"

On April 13th I wrote a blog titled "I Didn't Do It".  Have you ever asked your kids who did something, such as "who left the toys out"?  We used to get the I didn't do it comment, which of course drives me crazy.  Someone did it and I am going to be the one who ends up having to clean it up or put it away, so someone needs to own up or rat out the culprit.  Never mind my comments about not being a tattle tale.  Tattle tale and save my sanity.
  Well, it worked.  We have discovered that we have a fifth child that does nothing but create messes throughout the house leaving the others to take the blame.  The charade goes on no more as the kids have ratted out this fifth child and his name or her name, not quite sure yet, is "NotMe".  Apparently we adopted NotMe a while back and the kids have just recently caught on to NotMe's dasterdly plan to get all of them in trouble.  Just the other day I cleaned the basement and a few hours later I went down and there was a mess.  After confiding in the kids that were down there all of them informed me it was NotMe that made the mess.  Of course NotMe was no where to be found, which really ticked me off.  When the kids asked me who had to clean up I answered "NotMe, now go find your new sibling and help clean up". 
  NotMe apparently loved my most recent meal creation and when asked about my new shirt and who liked it I found out NotMe once again stood alone liking the shirt.  I am really starting to like NotMe and tomorrow we are going to the dump together.  I think the rest of the kids are really taking to NotMe as well.  After all, when I asked who wanted to join me they all volunteered NotMe.  I must say, it is becoming annoying that the kids won't let NotMe speak for him/herself.  In fact, if NotMe would stop hiding from me I would be able to figure out if my daughter has a new sister or brother.
  My wife just informed me that we never adopted a new child and that there really isn't a NotMe sibling running around our house.  I am not sure how to take this as it means one less person that likes my meals at dinner time and no one to go to the dump with me tomorrow.  It does however create a mystery regarding the mess in the basement and the numerous times clothes or toys are left lying around.  "I didn't do it" and now finding out NotMe is NotReal, I am going to need help in getting to the bottom of these disasters throughout the house.
  Tomorrow morning I am going to call the kids on their little charade and instead of asking who made the mess I will inform them that, "NotMe has gone to stay with my sister and her family for a little while so I would like to introduce you to IDid and his twin sister IWill.  They will be staying with us for a while so remember their names and use them often".