Police Story

 How do you feel when the police lights start flashing and the siren wails as you are driving along the highway?  For most of us we get out of the way, hope that everything is okay and pray that traffic does not get backed up.  Then there is the odd occasion when we realize the lights and sirens are for us and the police car is right behind us.
 I don't know about you, but the one time, or there abouts, that it happened to me I felt like I had been punched in the gut and was about to lose my breakfast.  The officer walked to the side of the car and asked "Do you know how fast you were driving?"  I quickly answered "Faster then my mother in law, but slower then my wife" in hopes that he had a sense of humour.  I sat and waited, for what seemed a lifetime, hoping my criminal record for failing to get my Honey Do list completed would not show on his records.  $75.00 later and a strict warning to watch my speed and I was on my way.  As much as I felt sick to my stomach my wife laughed at me and reminds me every once in a while of what happened. 
 Now, being the driver is one thing, but being a passenger when your wife is driving, well this is a much warmer feeling.  Here is my recollection of what happened on our drive with my daughter and mother in law.

 It all happened while driving the back highways on a rainy morning.  The OPP officer heading towards us turned on his flashing lights and my wife said "Oh crap, I think I was speeding."  At this point I pinched myself to make certain this was really happening.  I then pinched my wife as I wanted her to know it was real as well.  The police car then turned around and pulled up behind us as my wife signalled to pull over.  As we waited for the officer to walk up I wondered to myself "How long can I use this to my advantage?"  When he reached the drivers side window my wife flicked her hair and, I am certain, batted her eyes at the officer.  He asked "Where are you headed in such a hurray?"  she responded, in an apologetic voice, "We are in a hurray to reach the next rest stop as my husband is not feeling well.  I think it is the beans from last nights dinner."  The officer laughed at her wit as he walked back to his car to run her information.  As for me, my shame was masked by the joy of witnessing my wife's injustice and the consequences to come.

 In the backseat our daughter asked what was going on while my mother in law sat quietly not wanting to bring attention to herself.  As the officer returned I eagerly awaited her sentence knowing that we could not afford a fine, but that the shear joy would be enough for me to get past that.  The officer walked up and said "Because of your honesty and the precious cargo in the back seat I am letting you off.  Let your husband know that there are things he can take to resolve his issues."  My wife put her hand on his and said "Thank you so very much, you don't know what it is like dealing with him on a daily basis."  He bent down, looked me in the eye and said "You are a lucky man, take care of your family and don't let me run into you again." He then walked into the sunset, metaphorically speaking, never to be seen again, hopefully. 

 My wife will tell you a different story then I do, although in the end my joy was ripped from my hands, I was made to look like the bad guy and my wife drove away with a smile on her face.  As for my mother in law she was able to conceal her stash from the police, not that he would have taken her prune juice, even if it did have a little something extra in it, my daughter was able to tell her brother's that she saw a policeman and my wife still gets to gloat.  Thank you officer for making our day.       

Can't Wait For Summer

Pancake Tuesday

 So it's Pancake Tuesday and the kids want pancakes for dinner.  Their teacher ate pancakes for breakfast, kids in their class are eating pancakes and the girls next door are having pancakes for dinner.  I guess there is only one thing I can do, send them next door.  Since they were not invited I decide, with unanimous applause, that pancakes are a good choice and paired with some fruit they are now a healthy meal, kind of.
 While making dinner I get to thinking about the origins of Pancake Tuesday.  Why would you want to eat pancakes prior to fasting for 47 days?  Maybe they tried beans and toast and had some bad experiences.  Based on the pancakes I had in Boston a few years back I do understand why pancakes.  You can hide a lot of things in pancakes, in my experience it was corn and rice.  Not to my taste although the Americans I knew were eating them up no questions asked.  Maybe this is more of an American thing I don't know, but I do know that in Canada what you would find in pancakes would be chocolate chips, bananas, blueberries, M&M's, strawberries and topped off with an overflowing amount of Maple Syrup, enough that you have to lick the plate after the pancakes are done.  Tell me you lick your plate and that I am not the only one who loves maple syrup that much. 
 So why does Tuesday get a special food day and not the rest of the week?  Just thought I would share my ideas.
Pastry Mondays -Donuts come to mind, but pick your favorite pastry and enjoy.
Cheese Wednesday -A tub of cream cheese, a block of old cheddar, 3 or 4 grilled cheese sandwiches, whatever your preference enjoy with a little wine.
Water Thursday -Cleanse your palate, amongst other things.  You want to enjoy Fridays meal.
Pizza Fridays -Team this up with a cold beverage and you have started the weekend off on a positive note.
Potato Chip Saturdays -After a night with friends and a couple cocktails who can resist this tasty little treat.  Stay away from the Sour Cream flavour as it could get you banished to the couch, I know.
Lent Sundays -For those of us that do not partake in the full ritual of Lent we require a day to gain an understanding.  Call it an education into our religious history, besides all I want to do on Sunday is sleep in, have a  nap and go to bed early to prepare for Pastry Monday.
 With four kids and a healthy regime, I have recently started, this is all a pipe dream or thing of the past, either way it does not happen around here and never will, unless there is a big game on or I am forced into it.  Did I mention that you are welcome by anytime just remember that second part and bring snacks.  What would your dream week look like?

The Naked Truth

 When was the last time your kids saw you naked?  Probably when they were very young and you figured they would never remember.  What age is that?  I would say anything over 3 years old is pushing the envelope and therapy may be possible in the future.  What about you seeing your parents naked?  Sorry if I stir up old memories.

 Today started like any other day, my wife and I sitting around enjoying the fact it was Sunday and nothing to do.  There was of course the laundry, dishes, cleaning and showers for the kids, but my wife said it would be good for me to have something to do on Monday.  The kids were running around yelling and playing or what their version of playing is.  Frick scratched Frack, Jeff beat up on Mutt and Mutt took his revenge.  They took the time to create more Monday work for Dad, always thinking of me those kids.  I then attacked the driveway, shovelled the snow and cleaned off the cars.  While I finished the driveway my wife got the kids ready for a visit to the hospital to see Grandpa.  I then headed for a shave and a shower so that we could get going.



 a little addition for my wife



 My wife knocked on the door and asked if I left my needle (a story for another day) open on the table.  On the table yes, open no.  Panic sets in as we realize the needle is missing and we both go running up the stairs into the living room, me with nothing on.  For the women that don't want a mental picture please think of somebody like Matthew McConaughey, although that may be to close of a comparison, maybe Bruce Willis.  Anyway I digress, the missing needle is our immediate concern, although my wife says it wasn`t missing I was carrying it in plain sight.  Now try to put yourself in our kids position as their mom and dad come running into the room yelling about a missing needle and your dad is butt naked, again think of Matthew.  Everyone denied seeing the needle and it was found it in the garbage, opened from package but cap not removed.  At this time I let in to a little speech about how I am the one in the wrong and they are not in trouble, but seriously are they hearing a word.  Frick is crying and my wife is suggesting a wash cloth to cover up, who is she kidding I was looking for a beach towel, and the rest of the kids are in stunned silence.

 When all was said and done the needle was found, everyone was okay and we discovered the culprit, yet she is only three so no charges are being pressed.  Oh and it turned out the beach towel was not necessary, as everyone closed their eyes and prayed for me to leave, which I did.

 So you tell me, therapy?  My wife is signing herself up.  As for the kids, by end of day and a couple Timbits later Dads exposure has been forgotten, at least until the repressed memories come forth in 30 years.  As for me I may have a new career on the Naked News.  Fun times and laughs.

Julie "God's Newest Angel"

Lockhart Funeral Home (Julie O'Rourke) We have all heard stories of people that moved us or inspired us, people that have achieved wonderful things or battled insurmountable odds.  For me, I have been fortunate enough to meet one such person, one who's life has been and will always be an inspiration that I will try to live by.  Her story will be told by my family for years to come as we believe she will make a difference in someone else's life as she did ours.

 I never knew her on a personal level, meeting her only once.  Yet once was all it took for me to see how special this person was and always will be.  Choosing to live is one thing, choosing to live when all odds are against you, this takes a very special person.  It is not about what you have to live for, but what you want to live for.  For some they have to live for their kids, grandkids and spouses, for others they want to live to see the sun come up again, to see a smile on someones face, to share their thoughts one more time with anyone that will listen.  It is my belief from everything I knew of this woman that she wanted to live for the simple reason that dying was not an option, even against all odds. 

 The following is a quote from her that shows her determination to live;
" I don’t like their prognosis, so I’m going to continue life as if I am not approaching death at a young age, for that is just too depressing a thought. It’s not the easiest thing to do, pretend you’re not very sick, but I’m going to try with the best of my ability and with all the support of you people reading this.  It’s a scary and surreal journey, but I’m so determined to keep fighting despite the odds, statistics and doctor’s predictions. I’m so set on living that I can’t allow the constant bad news to deter me as I fight. Thank you all for believing with me and helping me to trust there is hope. However, self-pity never saved anyone’s life, and I’m sure I won’t be the first, so I’m not going to waste time feeling sorry for myself. I’m going to make the most of the time I have left."

 My family admires her will to live and the strength she has shown.  We also recognize the courage, patience and strength that her own family has put forth over her ordeal.  This journey is about one person, but one person that had an incredible family along for the ride.  A family that was there for her every step of the way fighting off their own challenges to improve her journey.  No journey through life can be complete without friends and family and my family knows this more from her story.  If Hollywood wants a life story to share that will impact people world wide this is one for the ages!

As my wife's cousin, she impacted my life more then she could ever have known.  Her journey has come to an end here on earth, although I am certain that a new journey has already begun.  She will be forever missed, yet never forgotten.  Thank you Julie for what you taught my family and I.