I Told You So

 I had said once before that I would take requests for a blog and if I thought I had enough knowledge or experience in the area requested I would take it on.  Well, I had a request that I think all of us can relate to.  I am putting my spin on the request, but in the end the same topic is covered and if you doubt that you will have something in common with it I can say "I told you so".

  I always said that I would not be like my parents when I became one.  I swore I would be easier going and let my kids enjoy themselves and experience life with fewer boundaries.  My parents said, "just wait, your day will come".  Do you know what they say now?  "I told you so".  I am probably tougher on my own kids than mine were with me and every day I am repeating some line that my parents, and probably their parents before them, used many times when I was a kid.  Here is a taste, which I am sure that everyone can add to, of what I say to my kids.

• Somebody is going to get hurt.
• Eat your vegetables.
• Do your coat up, it's cold outside.
• Don't forget to wash your hands.
• Don't forget to brush your teeth.
• Don't make a mess
• Clean up your toys.
• Watch where you're going
• Pay attention.
• Leave your brother alone.
• Leave your sister alone.
• Shhhh, use your indoor voice.

And the one thing we would like to say quite often, "I told you so".  We avoid saying this because we know deep down that there really is no point.  Now, I have said this and I believe the day will come when it means something, but of course my wife just laughs and says she looks forward to the day she can say to me, "I told you so"  I know I never liked hearing it and still don't, but it does stay with you, although I am not admitting that out loud, my wife or mom might be listening.

  It's funny, I thought it was the mom's job to ask the nagging questions/comments and the dad plays the quiet role only commenting afterwards with a "well if you listened to your mother", which of course would drive any kid nuts.  Being a stay at home dad I find myself playing both roles, one minute saying "I told you so" and the next I am saying "If you had listened to your mom".  It's not surprising that my kids look  forward to the weekend and mom being home, all day.

  My oldest is only 7 years old so I know that this is just practice for when they all get older and I make these comments just simply to make a point or maybe even to piss them off.  I love my kids and will do my best to avoid annoying them, but seriously, today showed me why this is a long shot.  While playing hockey in the driveway with the neighbours, my son kept picking up the ball when it went on the grass, which led to me saying, "try to pick up the ball again and you're going to get hit with a stick".  Two minutes later he reached for the ball and got whacked in the hand by a hockey stick, not mine.  You know what I said, "I told you so".  Only one problem, mom pulled up just as this all happened and I was the bad guy as mom got to console and play the good guy role.  He was okay and returned to the game with me saying, "don't forget, no picking up the ball".  An older boy would have wanted to say, "#$%* you", but thought better of it.  My son just looked at me and said out loud "I know" and under his breath "piss off dad, don't you have something to clean".  He didn't really, at least I don't think he did.
  So when you go to speak to your kids today remember these comments and questions before you speak.  I know you will do your best to avoid all of them, although I will make a bet that you will fail in your attempt.  "I told you so"

Truth Be Told, or Not

  Have you ever been asked a question by someone and provided the answer you thought they wanted to hear or the answer that would help avoid conflict?  What if we just answered the way we felt, truthfully, like kids do?

Q. What do you think of my new hair cut?
A. Didn't notice the haircut, but saw that our bank account received a trim.


The way I want to answer,
 sometimes

A. That's a haircut, I thought you just forgot to brush it this morning. 
Q. How are you feeling today?
A. Well, my head hurts, my stomach rumbles and I have diarrhea, other than that I feel like crap.
A. Not great, but better than those starving in third world countries and much better than the people of Japan trying to rebuild their lives, How are you?

Q. How was dinner tonight?
A. It was dry, tasteless and the Survivor competitors would have passed on it, but that's okay I ate on my way home.
A. The dog like it so I would give it a pass on some level.

Q. Does this make me look fat?
A. Yes
A. Of course it does, but don`t worry nobody will notice unless the gale winds blow and your sail opens up.
A. Well, maybe not fat, but I will need my tent back before the weekend.
A. From what angle?

Now, we would never actually answer this way whether we felt it or not.  In fact we take great pride in answering politically correct.  For example,



The way I do answer, always

Q. Does this make me look fat?
A.  Fat, why would you even ask that kind of question.  You could never look fat, you are perfect the way you are.

 Problem is that our spouses can see right through us and accept our answers even when they know we are full of crap. In most cases they already know the answer to their question before asking and are just testing us. Either way we go on answering the questions with a little thought put into them and everyone smiles, remaining happy for another day.

The Real Boss (so say the kids)

 Behind every successful man is a great woman.  Okay, so my wife is the successful one and the great one, so where does that leave me?  Never mind, this is not about me it is about her, but I am writing it so can't I change that and make it about me?  Just because I don't work right now, I get to play all day with the kids and I only shower every second day, just kidding, what makes her so special.


Sleep Deprived Warrior

  From the moment I hired my wife to work for me back some 17 years ago I new by the way she frustrated me and drove me crazy that there was something special about her.  Our working relationship lasted only a couple years as she decided to leave me for another career, although I knew she would be back, not really but I never told her that, and would never leave again.  A few months later she was back for a visit and I jumped on my opportunity by asking her for a drink and the rest is as they say, history.  Well, not quite that easy, but here we are 15 years later, happily married for 12 years with 4 amazing kids, wow.  

  I love a good mystery and yet how my wife puts up with me is one mystery that I choose to avoid solving or for that matter even investigating.  I would like to say it is my charm, humour, good looks and zest for life, but who am I kidding, she feels sorry for me, and my genes helped produce four beautiful kids.  Speaking of those kids, my wife had the hard part of raising them in their early years, where she had nights filled with tears, both the kids and hers, she would be sleep deprived and I would be off playing baseball with the guys.  She has pushed a triple stroller to the school to pick up our oldest boy from JK and had to fight through crowds standing on the sidewalk not moving.  She has stayed up many nights making birthday cakes for the kids that ultimately get devoured in mere moments.  She has patched up boo-boos, wiped tears away and gave kisses making everything okay again.



Ultimate Strength



  My wife has played the part of Wonder Woman, Dr. Quinn, GI Jane, and Judge Judy.  She has listened to me rant about work and provided her insight, whether asked or not, into how to deal with my issues.  She has been through health scares with our son Frack, my father, and myself.  Through it all she has been the one in control asking the questions and looking for resolution.  She checked on my life insurance and looked into increasing it even though it was not a life threatening illness.  Always concerned and thinking ahead, she now has me watching myself around staircases.

  She has a job she loves, almost too much, although wishes she could be home more throughout the week with the kids.  She has four kids that love her and don't miss her (except when I cook something they don't like), but instead treasure their time with her and would gladly take more of it.  After all, it would mean a break from dad, yeah.  She has in-laws that appreciate the mother she is and the businesswoman she has become.  Her father in-law has a special bond with her, maybe because they have identical personalities, there both nuts.  Her mother loves her and admires her for everything she has accomplished, including choosing me as her husband, I think.  As for me, the husband, I love my wife very much and appreciate, more than she could know, everything she does and sacrifices for our family.  I will always be there for her, as she is for me, and I will, of course, go on pissing her off just so that she does not get to comfortable.

Frick

  She is the youngest of four, the only girl and thinks she is older than she is.  What more could there possibly be to share about my beautiful daughter?  Do you have a little girl?  If so, you know what they can be like, and you also know that your life wouldn't be the same without them.

I'm so cute, daddy's in trouble

 Frick, as I refer to her, came into our lives 31/2 years ago and it was like an explosion of pink went off in our house.  She was the first granddaughter on my side of the family and being our fourth everyone assumed we were trying for a girl.  Truth is told we didn't try for a girl or boy we were just blessed with the arrival of our little angel.  And angel she was, as the boys would argue over who could hold here next or lie with her at nap time.  It was all too cute and we should have known it would come to an end at some point.
 Jump forward to the present day and we have a beautiful little girl that can and will take us on a roller coaster ride of emotion, both hers and ours.  Here is a little sample of what she is like on a day-to-day basis.

• She will snuggle on the couch first thing in the morning after waking on her own.
• She will fight, kick and cry in anger if we should wake her from a nap or prematurely in the morning.
• She loves her brothers very much and asks about them all day when they are at school.
• She will pinch or shove her brothers if they do not listen to her or follow her instructions.
• She seams to have a secret pack with her brother, Frack, which leads to lots of mischief.
• She will say she is hungry every 20 minutes, but won't want anything we offer until after we stop offering.
• She loves to dance and listen to music, something we try to do often, but could be better at.
• She loves to laugh, a lot.
• She has a smile that could melt an iceberg.
• Her eyes can go from puppy dog to Snoop Dog (whatever this means) in a moment when she realizes your not falling for her charm.
• She likes to dress pretty, but her dad, me, keeps putting her in jeans.
• She will give kisses all day, if you get the right day.
• She gives great big hugs.
• She is the first to console her brothers if they are crying, provided she didn't cause the tears.
• She can and does make us laugh, always with a glint in her eye.
• She loves to grocery shop with dad when her brothers are in school.
• She likes to play with someone at all times, not by herself.



Daddy's little girl



This is an insight to my daughter and what she is like on a day-to-day basis.  She is protective of her brothers when not picking on them and she loves her mom and dad very much.  And yes, she has me wrapped around her finger, although I have had a few times where I was the "meanie" because I wouldn't give in on something, so it's not that tight just yet.  She is the most beautiful little girl and I can only hope that she grows up and becomes the woman that her mom is, without so many hours of work.  I am a lucky dad to have two very special women in my life. 

The Great Outdoors

 What a day we had.  The sun was shining, the air was fresh and the kids were happy, what more could you ask for?  Oh yeah, my wife?  Well, that's what you get for bringing your work home with you, she was stuck inside.  Five hours of periodic visits from her children for snacks, drinks and in a couple instances fixing boo-boo's was all she got.  One such boo-boo required nothing more than a big hug and time as our oldest was hit, as said in Kung Fu Panda, in the tenders.  This was a first for him, although we all know it won't be the last, and he did not feel great at all.  He acted like a veteran (someone that had been hit before) as he curled up into the fetal position, crying, and calling for mommy and who could blame him, I would still do the same, although I wouldn't really want my mom to show up.
  The day started the night before when the kids were warned that the earlier they woke up the more housework they would need to help us with (wishful thinking).  After all, my wife and I were up until 2am as she had work to complete and I had to keep up on whatever movie was being replayed for the 10th week in a row.  Chronicles of Riddick was last nights movie, again.  As for the kids, they didn't want to do any housework, but since when did housework scare a kid away from being up for the morning cartoons, ones that mom and dad would normally turn off.  You see, my kids, like most kids, are smarter than us and they knew we may not be up first thing and that meant they could watch all the superhero, action cartoons they wanted. 
 We eventually dragged our butts out of bed and joined the kids downstairs where breakfast was served and the day was laid out for all of us.  Mom, work, work, work.  Dad, clean out the garage, keep an eye on the kids, laundry.  Kids, stay outside playing, have fun, and leave mom alone.  Off we go to get to our tasks completed.
 The garage, well let's just say that I moved a few things around in between the road hockey games with the kids.  What's more important, cleaning the garage or showcasing hockey skills with the kids.  Did you know that mediocre skills come across like you are Wayne Gretzky when playing with 7 year olds.  My neighbour and I were having a blast and at one point it was just two 43 year old wannabes playing, where did the kids go.  If our wives had seen us then, we would have been put on time outs for sure, after all there were four other kids that were not playing hockey, where were they?  We rounded up all the kids (7 in total), had them playing within view and carried on.  Hey, they didn't want to watch us so it was there fault we couldn't see them.  I know, not very mature, but I had a hockey game to play and besides, we could hear them, in fact the whole street could hear them.


Me versus my son, He won

 As for the laundry, well there is a load in the wash waiting for me right now and approximately three more sitting on the floor.  Hey, I deserve a day off once in a while so back off.  The kids don't want to shower so clean clothes won't make a difference.  I kid, they did shower and we can turn the clothes inside out to get an extra day.  My wife's not laughing and says that my performance review is coming up so I better pick it up a notch.  I am looking for a pay increase, but with 4 bosses and one supreme being I suspect that will be impossible.  At the end of the day everyone accomplished what they set out for and all were exhausted.  My wife got some work done and was up most the night getting the rest completed, although she would have accomplished more if she had stopped looking in on me and the kids.  I think she was jealous or didn't trust me, either way she probably made the smart decision.  It is so nice to see temperatures that allow us outside playing like this, I only wish I had the video camera on during our hockey games.  Let's hope that the weather is here to stay, as it is freezing rain right this minute (12:30am).  I hope all of you were able to get outside today, act like a kid yourself and enjoy the weather.