My wife and I have struggled with this for many years and you would think after four kids we would be good at it by now. We talk about it, we try new ways, we even used toys to help create greater incentive. Today we made a decision and stuck to it. It was not easy and a little painful to be honest. In the end we achieved the result we were looking for, punishment for our son that made an impact. Now I hope I didn`t mislead anyone as this is a serious topic that requires us parents to put our heads together and come up with a solution.
What do you do when your son hits his brother because he didn`t want him sitting where he was? Time-outs, stern talk explaining what was done and why it was wrong, or maybe have him explain what he did and why it was wrong. All of these involving an apology and a guarantee that it will not happen again. We have tried all of these and more all leading to an improvement for at least 15-30 minutes. Now, before I get to far ahead, lets remember I have four kids and they are great kids that just want to be kids. One has his seat at the table that only he is allowed to sit in, normal for a 5 year old, right. My 7 year old understands sharing and plays with all of his brothers toys, but only shares select items with them. My daughter thinks she is the boss and tries to get everyone doing her bidding. Finally, I have a 5 year old that provides direction for jobs around the house, but does nothing himself. This is all manageable until worlds collide.
Time-outs, taking something away, talks, they all work if you are consistent and follow through. What do you do when your little girl cries and says through her tears, sorry dad, over and over? You do like me and hug her, ask that it never happens again and you give in. The boys are a little easier to follow through with, although threats to loose something are followed by opportunities to gain back. They learn this and the threat loses its effect. Today we followed through with a punishment and believe we made an impact on all the kids. The loss of a loot bag at a party led to tears for a half hour and the other three watching and asking why, which was explained. Do not threaten unless you are prepared to follow through, no matter how hard it may be.
My wife and I love our kids and it kills us when we punish any of them, although the alternative is our sanity. Letting them away with wrong doings leads to loss of patience and even yelling, both from the parents. We want our kids to grow up with an understanding of right and wrong and the consequences of their decisions. We also want to see the smiles on their faces and hear their laughter in the air. What to do?
Friday, February 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Dad, I Pooped
I was sitting watching the big game enjoying a cold beverage and some snacks when I hear, in a loud voice, "Dad, I pooped". My daughter is in the washroom and apparently wants to show me something. Now, you can imagine my excitement, my daughter wants to include me in what would prove to be a very memorable moment. This is what I would call real father/daughter bonding.
Upon entry into the washroom my daughter is still sitting on her throne, not wanting to show me anything, only wanting her royal buttocks cleaned. Being a dad, or royal subject to her majesty, I gladly wipe her bottom and tell her how well she did. The question is then asked, "was it a snake poop or rabbit poop?". This would be the fault of my wife and I for describing our sons bowel movements and making it a game. Goes to show, you never really know if your kids are listening until they repeat something out of the blue. As for the game, it was the goal of the kids to achieve an anaconda poop as this meant they were eating enough fruits and vegetables. In fact, we still hear from the boys once in a while describing their accomplishments. As for my daughter it was not my intention to involve her in the game as she is our little girl and it didn't seem right for a little girl to be describing her poop. Seems someone failed to tell her.
Dad, I pooped is something I hear on a daily basis now and probably a good thing as I at least know she is clean. With the rest of the family there are times when I enter the washroom, the toilet has not been flushed and there is no toilet paper in the bowl. I never know for sure who it was, although the boy walking around scratching his rear is always a good giveaway. For those of you without kids this may all sound disgusting and maybe even revolting. If so I apologize for the nightmares you may encounter and give warning if you are thinking kids in years to come.
To finish, how was your last bowel movement, never mind I do not want to know. As for my daughters, it was nasty as she has been a little under the weather lately and yet she still made the call and I still responded with clean up and positive reinforcement. No matter her condition I will always be there for her and once I install the princess's private line I will never miss an opportunity to bond again. Seriously though, when does it end and can I not just take her to dance class. Good thing she is so darn cute.
Upon entry into the washroom my daughter is still sitting on her throne, not wanting to show me anything, only wanting her royal buttocks cleaned. Being a dad, or royal subject to her majesty, I gladly wipe her bottom and tell her how well she did. The question is then asked, "was it a snake poop or rabbit poop?". This would be the fault of my wife and I for describing our sons bowel movements and making it a game. Goes to show, you never really know if your kids are listening until they repeat something out of the blue. As for the game, it was the goal of the kids to achieve an anaconda poop as this meant they were eating enough fruits and vegetables. In fact, we still hear from the boys once in a while describing their accomplishments. As for my daughter it was not my intention to involve her in the game as she is our little girl and it didn't seem right for a little girl to be describing her poop. Seems someone failed to tell her.
Dad, I pooped is something I hear on a daily basis now and probably a good thing as I at least know she is clean. With the rest of the family there are times when I enter the washroom, the toilet has not been flushed and there is no toilet paper in the bowl. I never know for sure who it was, although the boy walking around scratching his rear is always a good giveaway. For those of you without kids this may all sound disgusting and maybe even revolting. If so I apologize for the nightmares you may encounter and give warning if you are thinking kids in years to come.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Shopping Made Fun
To start the week off I go through the kitchen and make my list of needed groceries and any other necessities. I am trying to graduate to planning my meals for the week to help make shopping easier and maybe expand on our meal choices. Meal choices are for another blog down the road, but lets just say that chicken and cheerios are very popular around our house.
My actual shopping experience generally includes one or more of the kids and can make for a long visit to the grocery store. My wife and I have tried to make shopping fun by letting the kids push their own small size shopping cart, which only resulted in a few bumps and bruises. The elderly lady said her shin would heel and not to worry as kids will be kids. We tried, with three of the kids, letting them all ride in the shopping cart while pushing a second for groceries. This was working well until they started to impede upon each others space and wanted to throw each other out of the cart. We have asked for best behaviour, not to touch anything, and even taken to idle threats. At this point I want to pack up and leave, but they are 5 years old and three years old, what do I expect? What I do expect is for me to be the father and hold it all together, after all, Dad's can do it too.
Today was shopping day and I had three kids with me. I decided to create three shopping lists, one for each of them. They were excited about having their own list and could not wait to get started. Once at the grocery store each of them were excited to find the items on their list. Now I caution anyone trying this as it does work and they had a great time, although due to height restrictions every item they pick up gets dropped into the shopping cart, even the eggs if your not watching. On the upside vegetables are exciting if they are on your list as my son would not stop asking about the broccoli.
My actual shopping experience generally includes one or more of the kids and can make for a long visit to the grocery store. My wife and I have tried to make shopping fun by letting the kids push their own small size shopping cart, which only resulted in a few bumps and bruises. The elderly lady said her shin would heel and not to worry as kids will be kids. We tried, with three of the kids, letting them all ride in the shopping cart while pushing a second for groceries. This was working well until they started to impede upon each others space and wanted to throw each other out of the cart. We have asked for best behaviour, not to touch anything, and even taken to idle threats. At this point I want to pack up and leave, but they are 5 years old and three years old, what do I expect? What I do expect is for me to be the father and hold it all together, after all, Dad's can do it too.
Today was shopping day and I had three kids with me. I decided to create three shopping lists, one for each of them. They were excited about having their own list and could not wait to get started. Once at the grocery store each of them were excited to find the items on their list. Now I caution anyone trying this as it does work and they had a great time, although due to height restrictions every item they pick up gets dropped into the shopping cart, even the eggs if your not watching. On the upside vegetables are exciting if they are on your list as my son would not stop asking about the broccoli.
My tips for time out with the kids are to watch your time and don't push your luck. Try to make it interesting by involving them. Ask for their help whenever possible and let them have some fun, especially if you are at the mall and there are kid distractions. They cost a few dollars, but can buy you more time to get through your shopping, as seen in the attached video (simulates hurricane winds). Finally, don't worry about what other people are thinking if the kids get out of hand, as odds are they have been there themselves. Enjoy the time spent together out of the house.
Romance in the Air, Somewhere!
Happy Valentine's Day to all of you on this February 14th, 2011. What a great day to spend with the one you love having a romantic dinner, maybe some soft music playing with candles all aglow. The kids with a sitter or put to bed early, oh what a night. Or, like my kids favorite song says "Tonight's gonna be a good night". This is what Valentine's Day is all about, for most.
There is something about putting the kids to bed early, putting on a romantic comedy, that she picked, and snuggling on the couch with a cold drink. To finish off the night I carry her off to bed, okay lead her to bed, either way to bed we went. Before long we become concerned that the screaming will wake my parents, so I go and tell the boys to stop yelling and go back to sleep. Upon my return, wearing nothing but my sexy boxers, I see that my wife has kept my side of the bed warm by moving my daughter there when I was out. She had a bad dream, my daughter not my wife. After moving her back to her own bed I am ready for the fireworks, but based on my wife's snoring I will have to wait until Canada Day for fireworks. I would like to say I was disappointed, but in fact the book I was reading was at a pivotal moment and I couldn't wait to finish reading it.
I remember the days before kids when we would take off to Niagara Falls for a weekend getaway or a quiet night spent having dinner out, just the two of us, thinking of where our future would take us. Wow, those days were expensive. Just think if we had saved that money and put it toward a mortgage payment or credit card bills. We would be so much further ahead today if not for those Valentine's celebrations.
Valentine's Day is a hallmark holiday that we celebrate with the kids. We make certain they have their cards to exchange at school and even get them a little something special to show our love to them. As for our one on one time without the kids we take whatever time we can and utilize it the best way possible, a good nights sleep. It is hard to be romantic if you are sleep deprived. Besides Valentine's Day will be the day we get out for our night alone, whenever it may be. We don't need a label on the day to show our love to one another. For the rest of you that love to celebrate this day, Happy Valentine's and may it be a wonderful time for you and your loved one. Yuk!
There is something about putting the kids to bed early, putting on a romantic comedy, that she picked, and snuggling on the couch with a cold drink. To finish off the night I carry her off to bed, okay lead her to bed, either way to bed we went. Before long we become concerned that the screaming will wake my parents, so I go and tell the boys to stop yelling and go back to sleep. Upon my return, wearing nothing but my sexy boxers, I see that my wife has kept my side of the bed warm by moving my daughter there when I was out. She had a bad dream, my daughter not my wife. After moving her back to her own bed I am ready for the fireworks, but based on my wife's snoring I will have to wait until Canada Day for fireworks. I would like to say I was disappointed, but in fact the book I was reading was at a pivotal moment and I couldn't wait to finish reading it.
I remember the days before kids when we would take off to Niagara Falls for a weekend getaway or a quiet night spent having dinner out, just the two of us, thinking of where our future would take us. Wow, those days were expensive. Just think if we had saved that money and put it toward a mortgage payment or credit card bills. We would be so much further ahead today if not for those Valentine's celebrations.
Valentine's Day is a hallmark holiday that we celebrate with the kids. We make certain they have their cards to exchange at school and even get them a little something special to show our love to them. As for our one on one time without the kids we take whatever time we can and utilize it the best way possible, a good nights sleep. It is hard to be romantic if you are sleep deprived. Besides Valentine's Day will be the day we get out for our night alone, whenever it may be. We don't need a label on the day to show our love to one another. For the rest of you that love to celebrate this day, Happy Valentine's and may it be a wonderful time for you and your loved one. Yuk!
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