I don't know about you, but the one time, or there abouts, that it happened to me I felt like I had been punched in the gut and was about to lose my breakfast. The officer walked to the side of the car and asked "Do you know how fast you were driving?" I quickly answered "Faster then my mother in law, but slower then my wife" in hopes that he had a sense of humour. I sat and waited, for what seemed a lifetime, hoping my criminal record for failing to get my Honey Do list completed would not show on his records. $75.00 later and a strict warning to watch my speed and I was on my way. As much as I felt sick to my stomach my wife laughed at me and reminds me every once in a while of what happened.
Now, being the driver is one thing, but being a passenger when your wife is driving, well this is a much warmer feeling. Here is my recollection of what happened on our drive with my daughter and mother in law.
It all happened while driving the back highways on a rainy morning. The OPP officer heading towards us turned on his flashing lights and my wife said "Oh crap, I think I was speeding." At this point I pinched myself to make certain this was really happening. I then pinched my wife as I wanted her to know it was real as well. The police car then turned around and pulled up behind us as my wife signalled to pull over. As we waited for the officer to walk up I wondered to myself "How long can I use this to my advantage?" When he reached the drivers side window my wife flicked her hair and, I am certain, batted her eyes at the officer. He asked "Where are you headed in such a hurray?" she responded, in an apologetic voice, "We are in a hurray to reach the next rest stop as my husband is not feeling well. I think it is the beans from last nights dinner." The officer laughed at her wit as he walked back to his car to run her information. As for me, my shame was masked by the joy of witnessing my wife's injustice and the consequences to come. In the backseat our daughter asked what was going on while my mother in law sat quietly not wanting to bring attention to herself. As the officer returned I eagerly awaited her sentence knowing that we could not afford a fine, but that the shear joy would be enough for me to get past that. The officer walked up and said "Because of your honesty and the precious cargo in the back seat I am letting you off. Let your husband know that there are things he can take to resolve his issues." My wife put her hand on his and said "Thank you so very much, you don't know what it is like dealing with him on a daily basis." He bent down, looked me in the eye and said "You are a lucky man, take care of your family and don't let me run into you again." He then walked into the sunset, metaphorically speaking, never to be seen again, hopefully.
My wife will tell you a different story then I do, although in the end my joy was ripped from my hands, I was made to look like the bad guy and my wife drove away with a smile on her face. As for my mother in law she was able to conceal her stash from the police, not that he would have taken her prune juice, even if it did have a little something extra in it, my daughter was able to tell her brother's that she saw a policeman and my wife still gets to gloat. Thank you officer for making our day.
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