I Didn't Do It!

  The house is a mess, there are toys all over the place and you have to blame your spouse because all the kids said, "I didn't do it".  It is hard to believe that my wife would walk around the house scattering toys.  What's even more amazing is she did all of this while being at work.  What if it was me and I was sleep toy throwing again, oh my the poor kids, I was blaming them.
  Who got toothpaste all over the floor?  "I didn't do it" is echoed four times as the kids all walk away from me.  That's the problem, we have a ghost that likes to play with the toothpaste.  I should not be surprised as during our visit to the medium I did find out that there are spirits that visit our home.  One of them mentioned playing with the kids, but he, the spirit, never said anything about squeezing the toothpaste all over the counter.
  Than there were the toys that were scattered throughout the house that I had to clean up as we could not figure out who made the mess.  Once I cleaned up I was determined to get to the bottom of this mystery.  But just as I thought I was getting somewhere, more toys, sitting on the floor.  How could this be?  This time I have witnesses as the kids were hanging around the area, so they must know something.  "I didn't do it" and in unison "we didn't see anyone else around".  Here we go again.
  Now, when it comes to laundry around our house I was recently asked by the kids "why do we have to put away our clothes when you do the laundry"?  So I have decided that starting this week I am not doing their laundry.  When they run out of underwear and socks and ask me "Dad, where is our clean laundry"?  I can answer "I didn't do it, but maybe you can get the person who throws your toys all over to do it for you".  I expect I will get a response such as, "Dad, we throw the toys, but we can't do laundry".  Busted.  So they admit guilt, but when questioned about the crayons and paper all over the place they respond, "I didn't do it".
  When my wife gets home tomorrow and says "Why is the kitchen not cleaned up"?  I will try the response "I didn't do it" and hope for the best.  I do see a problem with this as she will probably respond "I know you didn't do it jack---, I want to know why and when it will be cleaned up"?  Tomorrow I try this approach with the kids minus the jack---, maybe.