Love me, Love me more?

 How many kids do you have?  Do you love one of them more then the other/others?  Is it possible for a parent to love one child more then another?  What would you think if you found out that someone you know loved one of his or her kids more then the other?

Frack, 71/2 weeks old

 So many questions that I cannot answer for anyone but myself.  I recently read part of a rebuttal about a blog that was published regarding a woman loving her second born more then her first.  After reading the first paragraph I was called away by my kids and their demands for dinner.  While making dinner I got to thinking about this woman's comments and the little bit I knew about why she felt this way.  Her first pregnancy was not great and her first did not provide her with the instant bond that she had expected.  As well, baby number one was not a good sleeper, whereas baby number two was the exact opposite.  Everything she wanted in a child was provided by baby two.  I am certain there was a lot more to this story that I never did get to read, and yet it was enough to provide a mild understanding of how she felt.  After all, she loves them both, just one a little more.

And so it begins!

 As a father of four kids, that have all put my wife and I through our paces, I will state for the record that I love them all.  I don't always like there actions, but I do love them and would do anything, sacrifice anything for each of them.  When your son says he needs an empty toilet paper role for a craft and you later find a big wad of toilet paper tucked between the toilet and the wall, you laugh.  The next time when he tries to flush the paper and you have to clean it up, you’re not a happy person.  How about your daughter deciding to take the red marker and write all over everything she can including the wall where 7 years of child growth has been measured.  This is a piece that you hope to have forever and it has now been tarnished.  Easy to look back now and think of the added story you have for the future, but at the time she was not on Santa's good list.  What about the day your oldest decides to beat up his younger brother, on purpose, because he didn't like having his toys played with.  Finally, the temper tantrum that leads to being kicked by your son and hit in the head.  At the time of these events I would have said I didn't like my kids, although the truth is that it was their actions I didn't like not them personally and I never stopped loving them. 

Spit Happens, our favorite pic

 When my oldest was born I did not feel that instant "Oh my god this is my son" moment.  My bond came one night when I was changing his diaper and he started to gag.  I picked him up, turned him on his side and realized I was covered in baby puke and poop and it didn't bother me because this was my boy.  My wife and mom laughed their ass off when they walked in and saw what was happening, as apparently his gagging was normal and didn't require me picking him up.  It was much the same with the twins as it took some time for me to feel that special bond.  When Frack, at 8 weeks old, ended up in the hospital with RSV (Respiratory syncytial virus) and I held him, with tubes attached to him, it was the first time that I remember feeling the father son bond.  For some reason with my other twin boy, Mutt, he found a place inside me almost from the beginning.  He will tell you in future years that it was his charm and good looks and maybe he is right.  As for my daughter, well she is my little girl and at the first sign of pink I was hooked.  I won't say at the moment she was born as my comment then was that she looked like she had gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson, and lost.  Once she was cleaned up and had her first little girl outfit on I knew this was my little girl and I was trouble.  I don't like to be stereotyped, although "Daddy's little girl" was exactly who she was.  And, if anything, it has become worse over her three years.



Mutt, How you doin?

 In asking if it possible to love one child more then another I can say for me that the answer is no.  Frick is my little girl and for the most part has a fun, friendly personality, unless of course she doesn't get her way and then I become the bad guy or as she puts it, "you are a meanie."  Frack, first born of the twins, can drive you to the brink, but he is creative, wants to learn and when he wants to he is the most giving of the kids.  Mutt, other twin, is the literal one of the group.  He takes everything at face value and gets frustrated when you don't do the same.  His passion, sometimes fiery, is something I hope he never loses, only learns to control.  As for Jeff, my oldest, he is the kindest kid I know, almost to a fault.  He wants to be a friend to all and be part of everything going on and yet, the ones he loves the most are his siblings.  Not always, but he is and will be a great big brother.

  My love for my kids comes from different places based on their personalities and their actions, although in the end I would give or do anything for each of them.  And the days that I don't like them are the days that I look back on and laugh as it was not really a big deal after all and it created a story for future days.  Treasure the good days and find the humour in the not so good days as 20 years from now what matters is your love for your kids and that they know it.